Uncle John and fine ill be grateful but I won’t like it!

Well I have to say that the vigor I felt earlier in the week has been flattened out by the riggers of life.  I love my crazy uncle John; he’s one of my favorite humans.  I’m so UN bearably sad by the demise of his health.  I have cried so much that my eyes hurt and are so puffy I look kind of like a lizard.  This is one of the times my lack of power just sucks!  But in all fairness if I ran the world id mess it up for sure, so who am I to judge.

            Boo Boo is my favorite nickname, and its thanks to my uncle John.  He’s called me that for almost 31 years and it always makes me smile.  I have hundreds of funny stories about him, like the time when I was 16 and he told Carrie and I that if we were to ever drop acid that if we looked at linoleum it was really groovy.  I also enjoy that he calls it yo-plat yogurt instead of Yoplait.  Or “why do the call it pho when it’s said fa?”  “Umm well it’s in Vietnamese, so that might be why.”  “Yeah Boo Boo, that’s a good point.”  I love that guy.           

            So like any good Norwegian I'm a firm believer in avoidance and thinking about frivolity is fun.  So I’ve been dreaming of things I hope Santa puts under my tree. I really want to try this fancy Nails Inc, magnetic polish.  So cool, there’s magnetic partials that you hold the magnet up too and makes awesome patterns.  Also paper eyelashes by paperself are beyond epic, and I need them.  I think it would help if I was hip and went out more; all the same they are some of the most kick ass products to hit the beauty circuit in forever.  Both products are at Sephora, so if a gift card falls my way I’m sooo getting them.

            So on the healthy life front, the feeling of getting my act on track is even more importiant.  IV started a little vitamin detox biz; it’s too new to comment one way or another but so far so good.  And my tushi is still not crossed the threshold of a yoga studio, but maybe tomorrow.  But I’m going to spend some time in a standing forward bend tonight.  It’s a killer pose for the Bristol when I need to get mellowed out for beddy bye.  Also going to jam on some tea, cuz I like tea.

            So lastly its thanksgiving and people feel the need to be really grateful this month and that’s cool, I just want that attitude of gratitude all year. Not that I always do, however thats the goal.  And because of my inherent need to be a pain in the ass (I’m talking honesty people, truth bombs) I want to tell people to stop passive aggressively telling me to count my blessings.  I’ll do it if I wanna, and I don’t wanna.  But I have to say I am moved to say, my boyfriends sweatshirt makes me feel secure.  The people I love make me a better person, and no one embodies that more then Suki.  So despite it all I’m grateful…….there, happy?

To the start of something new

There is something about this time of year that so powerfully draws you to reflection.  I don’t get it, why when it gets cold is there this sudden need to reexamine your life?   I think all the early darkness is to give us time to really look into ourselves, or that’s what I am going with.  It sounds good at least.  IV spent the past year feeling rather unhappy, dissatisfied and over all a feeling of heavy.  While there have been some beautiful additions to my life and some habits broken, there has also been relapse in food, withdrawing and a connection to my body.

            So in the spirit of reflection and change I am going to evoke an eloquent marine phrase and just get “un-fucked”.  How am I to do said task?  To be utterly frank I am unsure, I'm weighing my options and trying to decide what’s best for me and my family.  I know that I have had a feeling of being stuck for so long and waiting that it has become part of my identity.  So I think I need to redefine who I am and what I want.

            So reconnection with people, places and things that matter.  That’s why I am blogging, hopping that it can help reconnect in a way that I’m unable to in my everyday life.  I get busy and I hate feeling like I only have ten minuets to call robin, so I don’t cuz I don’t want to be rushed.  And then months go by and we have not talked and that’s lame.  So I’m putting part of me out there in the world and hoping that I can be more open and available.

            I love yoga!  I lust over cosmetics!  I think about yoga and nail polish more then what’s considered normal.  I think I’m cosmetic and yoga obsessive and I’m totally ok with that.  The ironic part of all that is I don’t wear makeup daily or do yoga.  How is that a good thing?  I want to do more of what I love and feel that love every day.  I love the power of a new lipstick to change your day.  I long for the feeling of finding peace and strength you get from a yoga practice.  So use the cosmetics I covet and do at least one pose a day and get my ass to the studio!  I did chair pose, and it was awesome to feel my legs engage and burn.

            So this is the start, the rebirth the evolution of me.  (I can’t help being overly dramatic at times; it’s a blessing and a curse)  I want to be the change I want to see in this world one nail polish at a time.    

B