To the start of something new

There is something about this time of year that so powerfully draws you to reflection.  I don’t get it, why when it gets cold is there this sudden need to reexamine your life?   I think all the early darkness is to give us time to really look into ourselves, or that’s what I am going with.  It sounds good at least.  IV spent the past year feeling rather unhappy, dissatisfied and over all a feeling of heavy.  While there have been some beautiful additions to my life and some habits broken, there has also been relapse in food, withdrawing and a connection to my body.

            So in the spirit of reflection and change I am going to evoke an eloquent marine phrase and just get “un-fucked”.  How am I to do said task?  To be utterly frank I am unsure, I'm weighing my options and trying to decide what’s best for me and my family.  I know that I have had a feeling of being stuck for so long and waiting that it has become part of my identity.  So I think I need to redefine who I am and what I want.

            So reconnection with people, places and things that matter.  That’s why I am blogging, hopping that it can help reconnect in a way that I’m unable to in my everyday life.  I get busy and I hate feeling like I only have ten minuets to call robin, so I don’t cuz I don’t want to be rushed.  And then months go by and we have not talked and that’s lame.  So I’m putting part of me out there in the world and hoping that I can be more open and available.

            I love yoga!  I lust over cosmetics!  I think about yoga and nail polish more then what’s considered normal.  I think I’m cosmetic and yoga obsessive and I’m totally ok with that.  The ironic part of all that is I don’t wear makeup daily or do yoga.  How is that a good thing?  I want to do more of what I love and feel that love every day.  I love the power of a new lipstick to change your day.  I long for the feeling of finding peace and strength you get from a yoga practice.  So use the cosmetics I covet and do at least one pose a day and get my ass to the studio!  I did chair pose, and it was awesome to feel my legs engage and burn.

            So this is the start, the rebirth the evolution of me.  (I can’t help being overly dramatic at times; it’s a blessing and a curse)  I want to be the change I want to see in this world one nail polish at a time.    

B